Best-selling author Michelle McDonagh expresses her support for my story "Family Farm Survivor"

 

Michelle McDonagh is a newly-minted best-selling author who recently released her debut novel entitled "There's Something I Have To Tell You". I saw it and couldn't help but notice the thematic similarities between her fictional story and my own nonfictional one (Family Farm Survivor by David Lynch (cregane1.blogspot.com)) so I reached out to her via twitter:

Despite being in the middle of a busy press tour to promote her book I was pleasantly surprised that she still took the time to listen to my story and tweet me back some lovely messages of public support:

I fully agree that it is extremely important to record stories of abuse, mistreatment and the exploitation of children and young people on our farms - mainly because so much of it is still going on and victims of it desperately need to know that they are not alone and that there are others out there who they can turn to who understand what they are going through.

Michelle McDonagh on X: "@rural_ireland_U @Blarney_Mills @HachetteIre @LisaRichardsLtd I’ve no doubt it will help others trapped in that awful situation. To survive what you’ve survived and still think of others says so much about the type of person you are." / X (twitter.com)

Thanks Michelle - your support means a lot to me. Thankfully from all the correspondence I have received since my story was published last year, I know for a fact that it has already helped, comforted and encouraged a lot of people from farming backgrounds who grew up in similar circumstances. To be honest I think the kind of toxic home environment I experienced in my youth is still far more widespread on our farms than anyone realizes - least of all the victims of it themselves.

Michelle was also good enough to reach out to me via private message to send me several lengthy emails of support and even inform me that she had encouraged a female journalist she talked to that day to follow up on my story as well. Wow - talk about going above and beyond! If everyone was this supportive then I would be a very happy man.

Excerpt: Author Michelle McDonagh on The Ryan Tubridy Show (rte.ie)

Full interview: There’s Something I Have To Tell You- Michelle McDonagh | The Ryan Tubridy Show - RTÉ Radio 1 (rte.ie)

She also had the pleasure of talking to Ryan Tubridy about her book before his recent fall from grace. She said he was lovely - the nicest guy ever. And that he would be the perfect choice if I was looking for someone with a national platform to share my story on. Alas since his troubles it doesn't look like he's going to be talking to anyone for a while. At least not on RTE anyway. But hey - seeing as he's at a loose end these days maybe he'll agree to do my podcast? Speaking of which....

Coming Soon: The Farm Abuse Podcast!

I've talked to more than enough of my fellow family farm survivors now to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that abuse/neglect/exploitation/conflict and trauma are not the exception on our farms. Oh no - all those things are the norm! They're standard! They're what you can and should expect! The level of cruelty - particularly towards women and children - which still happens as a matter of course on our farms is nothing short of shocking! Of course, there continues to be a historically huge taboo and wall of silence around talking about those issues but the time has finally come to start breaking that wall down! In fact we have no choice but to because lives are depending on it.

Home is where the danger is? I fully agree and count myself very fortunate for escaping mine with my life and sanity intact - most of it anyway. Another tagline that would be just as appropriate for this book would be "How far would you go to protect your family?" 

I can relate to this book because at its core its about a person who does the wrong thing for the right reason. Sometimes good people get caught up in bad situations and the right thing to do isn't always clear. It also shows how a single toxic person in a position of power has the ability to drag everyone around them down, make their lives a misery and ultimately destroy everything. 

No one really has a "primal need" for land but I guess it sounds better than saying some people are just greedy fuckers who will gladly sell out their own family for a bit of it. No, if you really want to talk about genuine primal needs then we should highlight the primal need that children have for their family/parents and how they are often forced to endure the most miserably toxic and abusive treatment at the hands of their own families just on the off-chance that they might actually get some of those needs met. Or the psychological chaos/agony it inflicts when they finally realize that they suffered all those years of pain for nothing because they were never going to get what they needed anyway.

James Lumumba (@dontbeafraidtotalk) • Instagram photos and videos

In addition to making my own podcast I will also be doing a number of guest spots on other podcasts in the coming months. Thanks to the talented Mr James Lumumba for taking an interest in my story and asking me such thoughtful and interesting questions about it. Compliments to him for choosing such an appropriate name for his podcast as well. The big problem with Irish people in general is that far too many of us are far too polite and afraid to talk about anything even remotely difficult or controversial for fear of causing offence and upsetting people.

My dad didn't hate me. He couldn't hate me because he didn't even know me. And he had no interest in getting to know the real me because that might have messed up the nasty false image that he had projected onto me. The harder I tried to reject and deny that false image, the more it was reaffirmed. The more I tried to protest my mistreatment, the more I was invalidated and dismissed. Which is an incredibly hard, painful and hopeless way to grow up. What made it even harder was the fact that I was completely isolated and without support at all times - just as my dad wanted it. No one can stand up to that kind of unbearable psychological pressure indefinitely. Its just a matter of time before you eventually crack.

Hidden Motive behind Ruining Daves Life Uncovered - YouTube

My dad ruined my life? Well he certainly gave it his best shot that's for sure. His oft-repeated goal was that I should ultimately end up as a homeless alcoholic bum on the street so ruining my life was absolutely his explicit and stated intent. And he did inflict a terrible amount of damage on me which is undoubtedly still causing me problems to this day but ruined my life? Not quite. Against the odds I now have a good life and a beautiful family which I will always be very grateful for because I know that my children are a blessing, not a curse. Ultimately with all his egomaniacal abusive stupidity all my dad succeeded at in the end was in destroying himself, his legacy and his entire family.

Overcoming Psychological Abuse in Rural Ireland with David Lynch - Don’t be afraid to Talk - Podcast with James Lumumba | Podcast on Spotify

Meanwhile in Cregane.......

Great to see the old place still going strong. Its just a shame about all the children who had to get chewed up, spat out and crushed underfoot down the years to help keep it that way. Still you have to look on the bright side - thank god that my kids are being raised far away from here in a place where they are actually safe. 

One things for sure - the stony silence with which it greeted my story tells you beyond a shadow of a doubt that absolutely NOTHING has changed there. No lessons learned, no responsibility taken, no changes made. I don't think it could change even if it wanted to at this point. The place is utterly stagnant and has been for a long time now. At heart places like Cregane present us with a philosophical problem: Does the way in which we treat our own children matter? I say it does. Cregane still insists that it doesn't. Not really. We'll agree to disagree on that.